Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
