i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
