Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I pour the whiskey from now on
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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