I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
