well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
