For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
