who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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