She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
