were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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