Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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