Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize