When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
