remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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