I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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