if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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