Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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