I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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