i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at about main and main street
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
