Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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