Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
