Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
