Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
