By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
