NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
