I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
