at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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