Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
