Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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