he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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