Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
