i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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