She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
