the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
