I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
