you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize