honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
