I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize