She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
