Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
