he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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