gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
