Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
