My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
