i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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