Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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