1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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