Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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