He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize