Sponge bath it is.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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