He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
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By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize