I intend to get homeless drunk
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
