We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
