We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
