everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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