I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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