I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize