i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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