The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
third nipple confirmed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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