dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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