i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
