I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize