I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Everything about him screamed your future.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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