We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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